And What You Can Do About It
You guessed it; there is nothing you can do about them.
But there’s quite a bit you can do about you.
I bring this topic up because “ fear of what people really think of you ” is such a recurring biggie for people who avoid speaking up in a public space.
Most of us have experienced this public paralysis. It’s a shocker and the quickest way to drain your self-esteem smoothie.
Why Oh Why Oh Why?
I could talk knowledgably about:
- “Separation from the herd” anxiety (personal fave); or
- “They’ll see I’m a fraud” anxiety; or
- “I’m going to fail and ruin my entire career” anxiety; or
- “The weight of expectations through all those eyes” anxiety; or
- “I’m just not good enough, smart enough, experienced enough” anxiety;
but, I will not talk about them, again. We all know them well and I for one, am sick of them.
Sick of them controlling who I am and what I want.
Are You With Me?
If you are – keep reading.
The easiest place to start? Labels. Language is something you can control. Let’s drop “public paralysis”, also known as “ public speaking fear ” and all its dreadful baggage and instead choose something… attractive, powerful, energising.
I tried out many nifty names and phrases on the casting couch of change, but they sounded:
- Too serious – no, I want to have fun!
- Too new age – ooh, such self-important wisdom!
- Too biiiggg – no, I’m not promising to save the world. Yet.
And My Winner Is:
“From Fear To Fabulous!” Yep and with that exclamation mark.
Why? It just makes me laugh. It’s over the top with a boa feather-ish. My whole body quivers with the joy of it. My husband says my shoulders give a little cheeky wiggle and back they go, chest out, big smile. It’s not just my mind that recognizes the good fit, but my body and spirit too. Energy returns with the right words.
I like From Fear to Fabulous so much I’ve decided to splash it about my website, add it to my logo and have renamed my enewsletter in its honour. It’s a clarion call to anchor and remind me of who I am and what I want. With no fear of judgement.
No more “crash and burn” or “public speaking fear” for you either. Adopt From Fear to Fabulous or choose your own inspiring, powerful words.
Don’t Believe Your Wild Imagination
What people think about you is always and can only ever be, a reflection of their own beliefs and values. Contrary to your wild imagination, other people do not have the power of x-ray vision to see all your flaws.
According to research, most people are thinking about dinner and sex at any given moment. So, count yourself lucky if they squeeze in a random thought or judgement about you.
Is the problem: “Fear of what people really think of you ?”
Or is the real problem, our own fearful belief that they must be thinking the worst?
You cannot control what’s inside other people’s heads, but you can control what’s inside your own.
© 2018, Geraldine Barkworth, Fear To Fabulous Speaking Coach. www.goddessofpublicspeaking.com.au